This topic deserves a longer post/meta probably, but I’ve reached A Point tonight, so I’m just gonna make this post and maybe expand on it later if I have the energy.

But people repeat it like a mantra: Theon was a brother to Robb!

Oh? So let’s take a look at where we’re getting this from. I mean, I guess all kinds of assumptions can be done from various extrapolations of circumstantial evidence with the proper amount of conjecture and mental gymnastics, but I think the most obvious place that this seems to come from is here:

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At least this is the part that’s typically quoted. With supporting appearances from

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and, possibly, the perennial shipbait from Dance.

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But here’s the thing. Those last two quotes are about Theon’s feelings about Robb. Theon has affection for Robb like for a brother. Robb is more a brother to Theon than Theon’s own brothers (and that’s a pretty low bar seems like, given the tiny bit Theon mentions of his relationships with his brothers).

So, what about the first quote? Context.

When Theon is thinking about his and Robb’s relationship and how he thinks of Robb as a brother, it’s in his private thoughts. He’s not always super honest with himself, but when Theon is dishonest with himself, he’s usually either in denial or projecting. (Such as when he talks about Jon being jealous of Robb’s “regard” for him, which sounds like projected wishful thinking too.) He doesn’t really have a reason to distort his own feelings about Robb to himself, other than maybe playing them down some for the sake of preserving some self-respect and dignity. But in any case, those are still within the contest of his own thoughts.

The quote where he says that Robb thinks of him as brother is said aloud to his father. In the context of trying to convince him the idea to ally with Robb was his and not Robb’s and therefore Balon should a) trust it more and b) be impressed with him. Balon has just accused him of being Robb’s messenger boy and then seems to mock the idea that Theon is actually has of trust with Robb. Not only is this an attach on Theon’s pride but it’s also undermining Theon’s purpose here – it makes sense for him to reason that his father will be less likely to look on Robb’s offer favorably if he sees it as coming from an enemy/someone he inherently doesn’t trust, plus delivered by Balon’s son in a humiliating sort of arrangement (at least, humiliating as Balon would see it). So of course it also makes sense for Theon to try to explain why that’s not true: he’s not Robb’s messenger boy and the offer isn’t purely Robb’s, it’s something Theon suggested (therefore, Balon should be able to trust the ironborn’s/Greyjoys’ best interests were taken into account) and Robb went along with it because he trusts Theon, because they’re so very close, like brothers. See, dad, it makes sense! (Except, of course, Theon has miscalculated.)

But the point is that this is not any kind of honest-even-if-subjective, not to mention objective, assessment of Robb’s feelings about Theon. It’s just Theon trying (and kinda failing *sigh*) to say the politically/diplomatically correct things.

*sigh* I just mean…I like the younger/older brother dynamic for them as basis for snuggly, cute kidfic or whatever, sure. But that’s fic and wish fulfillment *shrug*