Robb & Anger Management

[alley_skywalker]

Got asked on tumble:

Do you think Robb had anger management issues or was it because of all the stress he was under? I understand that before he was left in charge of Winterfell and before he was crowned king there was never any mention of such a case, what are your thoughts?

Well, certainly, any issues Robb had would have likely been exacerbated by the very stressful situation he found himself in at a very young age. Especially once things start to really fall apart for him. That said: 1) I don’t think any issues he does have come out of nowhere or are developed wholesale because of the war, and 2) I wouldn’t say that a lack of anger management is his problem.

Mind, Robb does have a temper and he does at times lash out in anger/frustration. Often, this is done at inappropriate targets or in an inappropriate way. But calling it anger management issues seems to imply that either he does this especially violently somehow or that he’s unable to control his response. My opinion on this is that neither of those are true. The first point is pretty self-evident, I’d say – Robb’s temper outbursts tend to be limited to verbal/emotional cruelty at their worst. As for the lack of control… I don’t think he’s incapable of controlling his anger, but rather that sometimes he simply doesn’t bother to.

 

For instance, compare his treatment of Edmure and Theon during the Bran incident with his treatment of Tyrion at Winterfell (after Cat leaves) and his handling of the Karstark situation. He’s clearly pissed during the Karstark incident – a couple of unarmed kids have just been murdered, Karstark has made Robb look bad, he’s forced into a bit of a political trap, etc. But he’s extremely collected during that entire confrontation. His execution orders are delivered coldly, rather than in a rage.

Robb considered that a moment. “Did you know what Lord Rickard intended? Did you see the knives drawn? Did you hear the shouts, the screams, the cries for mercy?”

“Aye, I did, but I took no part. I was only the watcher, I swear it …”

“Lord Umber,” said Robb, “this one was only the watcher. Hang him last, so he may watch the others die. Mother, Uncle, with me, if you pleas

—ASOS, Catelyn III

This is pretty cold, maybe a bit cruel even. Definitely petty. But he’s acting with consideration and very deliberately. There is no sign of it being a failure of anger management, even though it’s obvious throughout the whole scene that Robb is furious that this happened.

With Tyrion, also, Robb is hostile, haughty, borderline rude, but he doesn’t really lose his cool or lash out in anger, even though he’s clearly pissed at the very idea of Tyrion, seeing as he’s a Lannister and the Starks are currently acting under the theory that someone with Lannister allegiances, if not an actual Lannister, tried to kill Bran.

A couple of other examples of Robb being pretty in control of how he channels his responses while angry. When Jeyne tries to follow him to the Twins:

Robb was touched by that, Catelyn saw, but abashed as well. The day was damp and grey, a drizzle had begun to fall, and the last thing he wanted was to call a halt to his march so he could stand in the wet and console a tearful young wife in front of half his army. He speaks her gently, she thought as she watched them together, but there is anger underneath.

—ASOS, Catelyn V

Later, when Robb tells Catelyn his intentions to legitimize Jon and name him his heir, she doesn’t take this well, and argues with him. As biased as she is toward Jon, some of her arguments are sensible nonetheless, but Robb doesn’t want to hear it and her reaction clearly makes him mad. But he’s cold and entirely in control throughout the entire scene:

[Catelyn] considered a moment. “Your father’s father had no siblings, but his father had a sister who married a younger son of Lord Raymar Royce, of the junior branch. They had three daughters, all of whom wed Vale lordlings. A Waynwood and a Corbray, for certain. The youngest… it might have been a Templeton, but…”

“Mother.” There was a sharpness in Robb’s tone. “You forget. My father had four sons.”  (…) “Jon would never harm a son of mine.”

“No more than Theon Greyjoy would harm Bran or Rickon?”

Grey Wind leapt up atop King Tristifer’s crypt, his teeth bared. Robb’s own face was cold. “That is as cruel as it is unfair. Jon is no Theon.” (…) "… Jon is the only brother that remains to me. Should I die without issue, I want him to succeed me as King in the North. I had hoped you would support my choice."

“I cannot,” she said. “In all else, Robb. In everything. But not in this… this folly. Do not ask it."

“I don’t have to. I’m the king.” Robb turned and walked off, Grey Wind bounding down from the tomb and loping after him.

What have I done? Catelyn thought wearily, as she stood alone by Tristifer’s stone sepulcher. First I anger Edmure, and now Robb, but all I have done is speak the truth. Are men so fragile they cannot bear to hear it?

—ASOS, Catelyn V

But of course, we do have moments of him lashing out far more intensely. Everything about the Bran incident, for one. Poor Edmure getting brattily told off for not being a mind-reader in ASOS, for another. This too:

“Are you afraid to have Jaime Lannister in the field again, is that the truth of it?”

Grey Wind growled, as if he sensed Robb’s anger, and Edmure Tully put a brotherly hand on Catelyn’s shoulder. “Cat, don’t. The boy has the right of this.”

“Don’t call me the boy,” Robb said, rounding on his uncle, his anger spilling out all at once on poor Edmure, who had only meant to support him. “I’m almost a man grown, and a king—your king, ser. And I don’t fear Jaime Lannister. I defeated him once, I’ll defeat him again if I must, only …”

—ACOK, Catelyn V

And, unpopular opinion time, but I think Robb lashes out at the people who are closest to him, and are the easiest targets, the most. Karstark is one of his bannermen and he’s got a political situation on his hands. Tyrion is a lord from an influential family and Robb is treading a political line here too, plus he doesn’t have any actual power over Tyrion unless he wants to actually harm/imprison him or something, which he doesn’t. With Jeyne – he’s not gonna make a scene in front of his men vis-à-vis his wife, besides he’s more angry at the situation, not so much at her. Cat is literally his mother and he’s had an entire childhood of conditioning to respect her, besides, being his mother, he still subconsciously seeks and need her approval. Cat is also not afraid to stand up to him.

Comparatively, Theon and Edmure are easy targets. Theon for obvious hostage-status reasons. Edmure, even after he inherits, is still technically Robb’s “subject,” and his uncle besides, i.e. he cares about Robb and has his best interests at heart. And if not his, then his mother’s, so virtually same thing. Robb can be shitty to him without worrying it’s gonna come back to bite him in the ass. So as far as these “outburst” go, I don’t think Robb is so much failing to manage his anger as just choosing not to, or rather weaponizing it in a different way. Because, really, even what he says/does during the Bran incident feels very calculated to be exactly the kind of thing that would hurt Theon specifically the most.

There is one but here:

Joffrey shrugged. “Come and see me when you’re older, Stark. If you’re not too old.” There was laughter from the Lannister men.

Robb’s curses rang through the yard. Arya covered her mouth in shock. Theon Greyjoy seized Robb’s arm to keep him away from the prince. Ser Rodrik tugged at his whiskers in dismay.

—AGOT, Arya I

I’d say this is the one time when we really see Robb lose control a bit out of anger. But if any argument can be made here its that Robb becomes better not worse at managing his anger responses. (Better in the sense of utilizing them as he needed for the moment: coldness (Cat, Karstark), haughtiness/entitlement/manipulation (Theon, Edmure), or suppressing entirely (Jeyne), etc.) After all, Robb’s outburst at Edmure in ACOK is far more explosive, as well as more childish, than the one in ASOS.

If anything, I would say the true predecessor for how Robb manages situations when he’s angry, annoyed or upset is less the situation with Joffrey, but more this:

“The sooner the better,” Theon Greyjoy agreed. He drew his sword. “Give the beast here, Bran.”

The little thing squirmed against him, as if it heard and understood. “No!” Bran cried out fiercely. “It’s mine.”

“Put away your sword, Greyjoy,” Robb said. For a moment he sounded as commanding as their father, like the lord he would someday be. “We will keep these pups.”

—AGOT, Bran I